Care For You
by Erin or Lindsay
Summary: Jaz grew up believing that she was damaged goods, but here she had a whole team of men who were willing to risk their lives for her because they knew she was worth it. Post 1x11


Even after weeks, Jaz still had a hard time letting sleep take over. More so on the nights that the memories of her capture caught up to her. And there was nothing to numb the pain, or block out the darkness. That was the difference, between being here and being stateside. That was the reason why she opted not to rotate out and head home. Home gave her a lot of bad opportunities to take care of this pain in a way that was more acceptable where she came from.

So if she had suffer through sleepless nights, in their crappy little kitchen with only Patton to keep her company, well that was better than throwing everything away. Jaz was proof that you can be more than what you're raised to be. She's made a new life, a new family with this team. Dalton had a big part in that. He knew what she had been through, both at home and in the Army. He's told her that he is proud of her more times than her father ever did. And that means a hell of a lot to her.

The sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway, breaking her thoughts. Living with her guys long enough, Jaz could tell the difference between Preach's padded steps in his slippers, McG's scuffing and stomping, and Amir's hurried steps. The ones coming towards her, the light pat of bare feet meeting the hard ground below, was undoubtedly Dalton's. She had been around him long enough to know his step, especially when he was trying to be as quiet as he could.

"Didn't mean to wake you." Jaz heard him stop, as if he thought she was actually sleeping. _As if sleeping even came easy anymore._

"You think you're the only one in this place that can't sleep?" Adam collapsed on the couch. She was playing with a loose thread on the other end of the couch, letting one hand cradle a mug against her chest. "Preach's famous sleepy tea? That stuff's better than most meds out there."

A smile ghosted across her face, leaving just as fast as it appeared. It was comforting to know that Preach took care of them. Using his fathering skills over here while he was away from his girls. She never had that. Her father never slayed the dragons under her bed. He wasn't up at the sound of a floorboard creaking, mostly because he was passed out drunk. But it made the world a little better knowing that there were dads like Preach out there.

The silence settled, comfortable but pushing a line that she wasn't wanting to cross. Anger. He benched her, and while she understood it was protocol, the shrink didn't make a difference. If anything he made her realize that she had to, no _needed_ , to be out there with her guys. Because when she heard from McG that Top almost got blown into pink mist, while she was an ocean away spilling her guts, Jaz almost lost it.

"Jaz." Her teeth dug into the skin of her lip, holding in everything. "Hey, look at me." But one look at him, and everything started to fall apart. "Xander told me you're cleared, that's great."

"I would have been fine to go out with you guys today. Do you know what me and your shrink friend did all day? Played on the PS4. Do you know what I could have been doing? Saving your ass out there. Making sure McG didn't do something idiotic and catch a bullet. Watching your backs from my scope."

Caught in the moment, Jaz had spilled her tea all over her. "Jesus Jaz." Dalton was already at her side with a towel. He placed the mug on the table before taking her wrist in his hand gently. "Come here. I don't need to hear McG bitching anymore than usual that we interrupted his beauty sleep." Leading her out the patio and into the yard, he reclined on the ragged couch they keep out back, leaving her standing in front of him.

For just a minute, the two of them forgot about the reasons they were both up. They took this time to realize that in this wild place they were in, there were still moments of peace. Jaz looked up at the stars, because it still amazes her after all this time that there are that many up there. And everytime she took in the night sky, Dalton always took the time to appreciate her for who she really is, and everything about her.

"I wanted you out there." He moved his eyes to the stars too as he spoke, while hers were trained on him. "I had been on the phone with Patrica for days trying to get you out there with us, on active duty. But without the proper clearances there was no way." His head tipped forward, meeting her eyes.

"No, Top don't give me that bullshit." She ran a hand through her hair, wanting to pull at it. "You play everything so by the book. Every single thing. You knew I was fine, I haven't had a nightmare since we came back to the hanger. McG is back to giving me shit, Amir is back to being his little rich boy self, even Preach is back to being a dad to all of us." Jaz's hand flew around as she spoke, as if she would hit Dalton if he got too close. "You're the only one who hasn't moved on!"

Jaz began to pace the length of the couch while Dalton watched her. He knew where she was coming from; being benched is one of the worst things that can happen to a soldier. Like she once said, people like them don't do powerless well. Her words threw him off his game. He knew that she had a shitty childhood, hell he understood better than anyone else. Fathers could be a bitch, especially when you weren't wanted in your own home.

"Jaz." She didn't stop. "Jazzy, stop, just sit down." He caught her wrist once again in his hand, grabbing her attention. Dalton pulled her down to sit with him, turning in the process so he was facing her. The hand that was on her wrist slid down until her hand was in his. He could feel her trembling under his touch. Adam wasn't sure if it was because of how angry she was or because how low the temperature had dropped. Or if it was because this was him touching her.

It took a breath for Jaz to settle down enough and actually look him in the eye. But honestly, he wished that she hadn't. Because the moment their eyes locked, a lump grew in his throat and tears burned in her eyes. "Top." Jaz took in another breath. "When I was taken, and you guys came for me." She shook her head a little, looking up to the sky before continuing. "That was the first time that I ever actually felt like I had a family, you know, people who care."

"We all do care for you. _I_ care for you." Dalton cleared his throat, trying to get the words out. "I would have traded places with you if I could have. Jazzy you gotta know that. In a heartbeat, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for putting you in that situation." A ragged breath passed his lips. "I can't move on because I'm terrified that it's going to happen all over again. I'm the one who made the decision to stay for Jafir. I put you in there."

She was more aware of the circles that Dalton's thumb was drawing on her skin than anything else in that moment. This might have been the closest they've been, the closest that she's allowed herself to get to any one of them since her kidnapping. Not because the Iranis hurt her, they barely touched her. No, instead they just brought up every painful memory of her childhood. Every memory of her father hurting her just because she wasn't a boy. A person who was supposed to love her unconditionally hurt her to the point that she believed she was damaged goods. So to have a man, her commander of all people, be this gentle with her was something new.

While watching their hands together, Jaz saw her own shaking in his. She squeezed his hand into hers, hoping that she would be able to stop the shaking.

"I don't blame you. Not for what happened over there." In a moment of weakness, Jaz let herself relax and rest against Dalton's side. Her head sat against his shoulder, the scent of her shampoo invading his senses. "You said we could have walked away, but Jafir tried to kill us and the kids that day. Innocent kids who didn't ask for us to put them in danger. So if I wasn't going to get revenge for him trying to blow us up, then I was sure as hell going to do it for the kids." Jaz's thumb tapped against his knuckle.

"And here I thought you were going after him because he ruined your day off." Dalton's attempt at lightening the mood seemed to work when he saw Jaz break out into a smile that actually reached her eyes for the first time since this whole mess began. "You should really try to get some sleep Jazzy."

Top could feel her nod against his arm, her hair getting mussed up in the process. "Couple more minutes." And within one of those minutes, he knew that she was out. Dalton knew how much sleep came after one of those kidnappings and torture incidents, so there was no way he was going to risk waking her up again.

( _Preach was the first one up and found Jaz awake and now in Dalton's arms, leading her to quietly getting up without waking him. And the two of them may not have spoken about that night, or the fact that she felt more safe in his arms than she did in her own bed with the door locked and her glock on her nightstand, but they knew everything would change eventually.)_


End file.
